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Fake Whitey Bulger tweets = comic edgework

 I write today to praise a Boston fake, and no, I'm not talking about the CBS July 4 fireworks telecast. It's the @James_W_Bulger Twitter feed, written as far as I know anonymously. It's often as funny and sharp as any comic writing around today, and by the nature of Twitter highly topical and time-sensitive.

Before anyone gets outraged, let's acknowledge that finding humor in anything Bulger is a twisted exercise. The circus atmosphere around his capture should not be allowed to obscure the corruption and horror that Bulger inflicted on Boston. Read Kevin Cullen or Peter Gelzinis to be reminded, or just this powerful Op Ed by Michael Patrick MacDonald. The people peddling FREE WHITEY t-shirts online are greedy, thoughtless idiots. I don't expect those touched by his Southie reign of terror to easily see the humor in tweets from @James_W_Bulger. Probably a lot of other people won't, either.

But someone was going to do this, of course, perhaps inspired when the FBI announced his capture via Twitter. What's surprising is how well @James_W_Bulger is done. The writer channels Bulger's flip arrogance and brutality in a way that satirizes the very infotainment culture that has sprung up around his capture (including, of course, the idea that he's on Twitter).

He called out several pretenders: @James_W_Bulger: Im seeing fake Twitter accounts pretending to be me...if they had a copy of my resume they'd think twice. ...

This Whitey is surprisingly tech-savvy. @James_W_Bulger: If anyone has the Twitter names for Zip, Stevie, Kevin, and John Morris, lemme know. Im wanna try this Google Hangouts with them.

And he's not afraid to tweak that other Bulger brother: @James_W_Bulger: Can someone help me post a Craigslist Ad? Here's the title: " WANTED: Non Chicken-s*** Attorney" & here's the body: "Contact Billy Bulger"

He even has a few things to say about the Red Sox vs. Orioles dustup. @James_W_Bulger: After watching last night's Red Sox game, I would like to extend an offer to Kevin Gregg to come work for me.

It's the best anonymous riff since Joe Klein was revealed as the author of "Primary Colors." I suspect the writer behind @James_W_Bulger is in the media too. In addition to a predictable hatred for Howie Carr, he has a very special feeling for a certain Fox 25 anchor. @James_W_Bulger: Doesnt matter what happens in court today bc @mariastephanos is now following me on Twitter. My day is complete.

This will lose its luster if the author is ID'd, of course. And soon it will start getting old. Probably best for him to fade away...at least until the trial. Less is more. But for the moment it's dark comedy gold. And one final irony. When I search his profile for tweets to use with this post, Twitter suggested some "similar" feeds I might want to follow. Yikes.

First Night adds Symphony Hall, college venues

Movin' on up! First Night adds three new spaces to its schedule this year. No performers have been announced yet, but First Night has added Symphony Hall and two new renovated venues downtown, Suffolk University's Modern Theatre and Emerson College's Paramount Mainstage. It won't be the Pops at Symphony Hall; word is something very cool is in the works. In addition, First Night's New Year's Eve festivities will return to the Berklee Performance Center, which will once again host an alumni concert broadcast by WGBH and NPR's national "Talk of the Nation" show. This year's First Night button, by painter Scott Listfield of Somerville, will be unveiled in mid-November. All First Night outdoor events are free, but the $18 button is the ticket for admission to all indoor events. Buttons will be available after Thanksgiving.

Thanks, Dale

I'm not going to the Massachusetts Broadcasters Hall of Fame award ceremony today at lunchtime at the Marriott Quincy Hotel, but it bears mentioning anyway. Robin Young, Tom Ellis and Gary LaPierre are among the honorees, along with posthumous recipients Ken Coleman, Robert J. Lurtsema and Johnny Most. But the inductee whose career meant the most to me is former WRKO and WXKS DJ Dale Dorman. Dorman spun Top 40 rock at 'RKO AM 680, from 1968 to '78. I probably switched over to free-form FM and wilder things on WBCN around 9th or 10th grade, but from '68 to about '75, especially when he was on the wake-up shift, it was Uncle Dale who first played so much great music for me. That was the golden era before music radio split off into disco and hard rock and rap and all the other formats, when Top 40 might bring a segue from the Stones or Creedence to the Temps or Gladys Knight and on to some godawful one-hit wonder. And the same songs the next hour. My Wonder Years, it was, and every time I happen to hear a snatch of his voice, from some old aircheck on line, it puts me right back there. Here's to ya, Dale. The Hall, by the way, is at Massasoit Community College in Brockton.

New Pernice CD and "Sh*t My Rock Star Says"

We'll get to the book in a moment. The new Pernice Brothers CD, "Goodbye, Killer" drops June 15 and it's another gorgeous set of melodic rock and pop. Sunny on the surface, mordant underneath, always erudite: it's impossible to mistake Joe Pernice's voice and lyrics for anyone else's. When was the last time you heard an album that namechecks Ford Madox Ford and Leni Riefenstahl? My favorites are the jaunty title track and chiming rockers "Something For You" and "Fucking and Flowers." The anthemic "The Great Depression" is irresistibly catchy, although it's either about an actual depression or the worst girlfriend ever.

Once in a while Pernice gets too cute by half - a spoiled "Bechamel" as romantic metaphor - but that's kind of a trademark, actually. You have to go too far regularly to get to a classic like, "I'd kiss your ass to kiss your ass again" (in the twangy, broken-hearted "Newport News"). Pernice sings the same way - occasionally there's a falsetto note he can't quite hold, as on the refrains in "The Great Depression," but somehow that too makes it all work.

My previous favorite Pernice disc was "Discover A Lovelier You," which for all its varied sounds seemed to be of a single dreamy mood. "Goodbye, Killer" reminds me more of "Revolver," which I've also been listening to a lot since I got the Beatles box - a collection of disparate songs held together by the voices and guitar sounds. Love the guitar work all over the place by Pernice and  James Walbourne (also of the Pretenders), especially the electrics on the throbbing "Jacqueline Susann" and the slide on the title track, which sounds like it dropped off a Rod Stewart album circa "Gasoline Alley."

(Photo: Pernice, center, with bandmates Ric Menck and Walbourne. Not shown: Bob Pernice, known as "Other Pernice." Pic by Mike Ritter.)

Referencing other artists is a rock critic's crutch of course. But Pernice keeps reminding me of Elvis Costello, and not just because of the glasses and (sometimes) beard, or the way he can go from the new wave of "Jacqueline Susann" to the bucolic country of "We Love The Stage." It's the way he produces pretty sounds that seem to curdle when you hear what he's actually saying. Like Costello, Pernice seems to enjoy coming off as a misanthrope. And like Costello, you get the sense that all the bristly wordplay is a romantic's defense mechanism, and once or twice an album the armor drops. Anyone who protests so eloquently that he's not "The Loving Kind" probably doth protest too much.

But then again.

Let us now consider "Pernice To Me," the paperback released simultaneously with the CD.

The slim volume comes from Ashmont Books, the publishing arm of Dorchester's Ashmont Records, both of which are basically Pernice and the one-woman conglomerate known as Boston publicist Joyce Linehan, who also serves as Pernice's manager. "Pernice To Me" - which I and other Linehan fans have been demanding for many months - recounts the communications between the pair, documented over time by Linehan via the @ashmont twitter account. They share the author credit.

Example:"Pernice to Me: We're touring in YOUR car? All I can say is, that piece-of-shit lezmobile better not break down. And I'm driving." (A footnote in the book explains that Linehan does drive a Subaru, although she is not a lesbian.)

No less an authority than critic Robert Christgau says that the book is a kind of music journalism, offering "little glimpses into the highly unglamorous life of an indie-rock lifer." Christgau seems to think it's the life that's given Pernice the nasty mouth. I don't know Pernice, but I have to figure it's part performance, a way of amusing himself via the caricature of an infantile, egomaniacal, misogynistic, utterly self-centered artist. Because if it was all for real, Linehan would have (justifiably) killed him by now.

"Pernice to me: People keep saying I'm a curmudgeon. It's like you invented this character. Tweet that."

It's a hilarious postmodern Punch and Judy act. And give Linehan credit: the twitter stream preceded @shitmydadsays by months, and that's now going to be a sitcom starring William Shatner as dad. What delicious irony it would be if Pernice's indie-rock life was glammed up by a "Shit My Rock Star Says" sitcom based on "Pernice to Me." Maybe if Costello isn't too busy with his talk show...

Tasty breakfast links!

The Rose Art Museum at Brandeis is becoming a rent-a-center, according to a fascinating Edgers p1 piece in the Globe today. ... Louise dug Actors' Shakespeare Project's production of the rarely seen "Timon of Athens," which I wrote about last week. ... JC Lockwood is worth reading on Kristen Miller's new album, "Walk." ... A fascinating, um, real estate brief. Really. ... And oh, yeah, my Friday theater column, about the Stoneham Theatre. ... In Maine, they're hoping the movie about the Wyeth family (Andrew et al) will be made there. ... Big gallery expansion at the New Bedford Whaling Museum. ... phew, enuf.

"Simpsons" solves Gardner robbery

Monty Burns did it, of course! I can't believe no one else has reported it, but "The Simpsons" solved the 20-year-old Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum robbery. In Sunday's episode, called "American History X-cellent," Homer, Carl and Lenny were loudly partying down in billionaire misanthrope Burns' mansion - long story - and Burns called the cops. But when Springfield's finest arrived, one of them looked at a painting on the mansion wall and recognized it as Vermeer's "The Concert" (right), stolen from the Gardner in March 1990 along with a dozen other works, several of them masterpieces, none of which have ever been found.With very unusual perception for the dimwitted cop, Chief Wiggum asked Burns how he came to possess "this miracle of measure and harmony." Burns contemptuously replied, "Is it a crime to want nice things and then to steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them?" Burns was arrested and imprisoned, leading to a "Green Mile" takeoff and - in another nod to the Gardner heist - Homer, Carl and Lenny posed as cops to break him out. Watch the episode here. The key clip:

Wilco fest at MASS MoCA in North Adams

If you liked Wilco at the Orpheum the other night, you might want to book a room in or around North Adams for Aug. 13-15. In what looks like a huge coup, MASS MoCA announced today that the band will curate the Solid Sound Festival at the museum on those dates. Wilco headlines in what's supposedly the bandʼs only East Coast performance this summer. This new festival also features performances by all the Wilco membersʼ side projects including Glenn Kotcheʼs On Fillmore, The Nels Cline Singers, The Autumn Defense featuring John Stirratt and Pat Sansone and Mikael Jorgensenʼs Pronto.

Also on the bill: more music, a comedy stage,  interactive installations and exhibits,planned workshops by luthiers, film, video installations and DJs. Expect a lot of attention for the Solid Sound Stompbox Station, an interactive guitar pedal exhibit created and demonstrated by Wilco guitarist Nels Cline.

I first heard from Jeremy Goodwin, who describes it best, I think, as "a big wonderful mess of creativity and general awesomeness."

Fest attendees will have full access to the entire MASS MoCA campus too. One can only imagine fans in an altered state wandering into the Sol LeWitt building. All those wavy lines...

Tix go on sale Friday. Through May 31 they're $86.50, and on June 1 they go up to $99.50. They'll be available here.

@BobDylanSays tells it like it is on Twitter

Say what you will about his aching croak of a singing voice, but at 68 Bob Dylan is still relevant, even on Twitter. For some time now I've been following @BobDylanSays, which delivers his lyrics as hourly one-liners that seem to comment with oracular brilliance on the tweets I receive before or after them.

Consider, for example, this week's juxtaposition of an update on health care reform from Boston.com chief @dabeard with a comment from the bard:

As usual, Bob takes the long view.

Dylan can be concise ("Blowing in the Wind") or verbose ("Desolation Row"), but I would not have predicted him to be at home in the 140-characters-at-a-time format of Twitter. And in fact his official  @bobdylan feed has not been updated since Jan. 30.

@BobDylanSays describes its method thusly: "Every Bob Dylan song line-by-line. 1 line/hr until all have been tweeted. After each song, BobDylanSays-bot chooses next one at random." At the moment, it has almost 10,500 followers, compared to 15,200 for @bobdylan.

Like any great artist, Dylan can shine his brilliance on even the most mundane topics, such as the Red Sox and their problems aligning their current corps of position players...

Scott Brown: The Musical. Yep.

Click to this AOL News story for all the scoop on the Improv Asylum show that I think promises to be one of their most popular. My favorite line: "Even Ted Kennedy hates Martha Coakley by the end." (Teddy's a ghost, see.) There's also a tender love duet between Senator Scott and ...  his pickup truck. The show opens March 21 and there's talk of a national tour. Turns out the TrackGals had a piece too, on Tuesday.

Graphic courtesy Improv Asylum

Love, Lust and Loathing

On Feb. 13 at 7 p.m., a new reading series kicks off here in Newburyport with a Valentine's Day special. The Tannery Series will offer Steve Almond ("My Life In Heavy Metal"), Rachel DeWoskin ("Foreign Babes in Beijing") and Fred Speers reading at the Jabberwocky Bookstore here in beautiful downtown Newburyport. The organizers - full disclosure, one of them is my neighbor - promise demented tales of love gone wrong in various colorful and scandalous ways. There will also be an open mike where guests are invited to read their favorite classic love poem (as long as it's three minutes or less). The event is free, and purportedly there are more to come. For more info, email info@tanneryseries.com.